


If I've committed a sin, I'll willingly take the punishment

by itsgameover



Series: The Unholy Homily [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Church Sex, M/M, Priest Kim Jongdae | Chen, Priest Kink, Smut, The Author Regrets Nothing, or maybe some things but sh!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:13:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27496990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsgameover/pseuds/itsgameover
Summary: Minseok knows he is a sinner so he obeys when the priest tells him to kneel and pray.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Series: The Unholy Homily [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025913
Comments: 17
Kudos: 52





	If I've committed a sin, I'll willingly take the punishment

**Author's Note:**

> title from Oh My God by (G)-Idle (art!!!!)  
> this is for mer and max, you deserve it ;)  
> hope you enjoy reading my little venture into priest kink territory.

Towns without souls are empty vessels, houses with no homes, winter with no howling wind to be heard. Guri without its small population would be nothing but a chapel and abandoned farms. It used to be like that, when men would leave their wives and children, drafted to fight a war caused by reasons they didn’t understand, led by those who seeked gold and glory uncaring of those who died in their pursuit of wealth and power. 

The souls of those who died in that senseless and drawn-out war came to haunt their children. Minseok’s father was one of those souls, coming back as a sack of bones. His mother stills cries, watching the small black and white photo the army took of him. Minseok was drafted after his father died, deemed a good replacement for him in the frontlines. He saw only one combat but that was enough for him to run away as soon as the armistice was signed, dropping his gun and running back to his home, burrowing into his mother’s welcoming embrace like a wounded puppy.

Guri is a village, a farmer’s one at that, with not many inhabitants. Each one of them with their own ghosts. Each one with their own beloved curses, with corpses in the closet. And it makes sense for a village’s hell to be smaller but significantly more cursed than the hell of a large city. In Guri everyone knows each other, every family is connected, by blood or by accidents of life, so it is obvious that all of them know each other’s dirty deeds. After all, there is only one church and it makes for very interesting sundays to see the husbands and wives who have slept with other husbands and wives, the kids who fight after school and the old men speaking ill of the newest generation.

Minseok is uninterested in church and its affairs, only attending the damned sunday service because his poor ill mother wants him to go to heaven. If she only knew that her son will stop attending once she passes away. Not that he wants that to happen. Minseok loves his mother, wants to help her get better day by day, but he can’t be blind to the reality that her bones are weaker and weaker by the minute. 

He also understands, as he works diligently in the barn, that his mother’s death will mean that there is no longer an excuse for him to push forward his wedding. 

When he was younger, just sixteen years of age, he made a mistake, a grave one at that. Young and eager and discovering his own nature, Lee Soonkyu caught his eye. The miller’s daughter took his hand and in those clumsy teenage lips felt something he thought was called love. Turns out that it wasn’t love, it was just the raw need to experience sex with a pretty and enthusiastic girl. They were animals in heat, fucking in a barn at midnight, and for that they were punished. 

The town’s priest, Father Wong, told them that they must get married in order to atone for their sin. Soonkyu was happy. 

“I know I love you,” she had said that day, holding his hands oh so tenderly, “and I know you love me. Our children will be beautiful.”

And back then Minseok thought he could love her one day, if not as a wife at least as the mother of his children. Now, with twenty three years of age, Minseok realizes that Father Wong was right to call their actions ‘a mistake and a terrible sin’. The war changes people, sometimes because it breaks them and sometimes because they find themselves amidst the shrapnel. And if Minseok is honest, his days in the front told him that he doesn’t want to have children with her, doesn’t even want to touch her. He's not sure that he could ever want to be with a woman the way he was with her.

With his mother dying slowly in the bed of their small house, Minseok has an excuse to tell Mr Lee that he has to push the marriage forward another month and then another and then another. It’s not his proudest moment, to use his mother as a way to run away from the consequences of his stupidity, but he has no other choice. 

Soonkyu cries that she wants to be with him forever as soon as possible, he tells her his priority is his mother now, tending to her until God takes her to his side. Mr Lee tells Father Wong this situation can’t go for much longer, Father Wong tells him he will marry the young couple the following week. 

What a shame that Father Wong dies a few days later. 

Minseok has never thanked God, not even in the battlefield when he had to shoot or be shot and the men on the other side looked just like him and his friends. He thanks God now though, watching in silence as the coffin of Father Wong is lowered to it’s final resting place, a simple and coarse hole in the ground by the chapel. 

When he comes back home, he asks his mother what she wants for dinner and grabs her hand tightly before heading to the kitchen to start a fire and peel a few potatoes as he hums an old melody. 

Three weeks after the death of Father Wong, a letter arrives to the town, addressed to one of the altar boys, Jaehyun, known to be the bastard son of the deceased priest. It announces that Guri will have a new priest before the year is over. 

“Good,” Minseok’s mother says from the bed when she hears the news, “I will have someone to pray for my soul before I die.”

“I will pray for you, mother,” Minseok tells her and she tilts her head, almost as if she knows his prayers are always half hearted. 

When the priest comes, a month later, the village is beyond surprised. 

“It’s a young man,” Soonkyu tells him as she helps him make dinner, her father insisting that Minseok should spend more time with his betrothed, “he is only ten years older than us.”

“Really?” Minseok asks, cutting the carrots in small pieces. 

She nods, “He is very charismatic and his voice is so calming, you can feel the spirit of the Lord in him.”

Minseok doesn’t think of the priest until a week later, when Soonkyu’s father tells him Father Kim wants to speak with him in person. He sighs, bows and thanks Mr Lee for telling him about it and heads to the chapel, fully aware that he will be scolded for failing to keep his promise of marriage to Soonkyu. 

“Good afternoon?” he asks as he opens the narrow front doors of the church, the candles flicker on the altar, daylight descending through the dormer over the entrance. 

“Kim Minseok?” a deep voice asks. 

“Yes,” he answers, bowing slowly when he sees a shadow emerge from the back of the altar. 

“I was waiting for you, child,” the voice says and then Minseok raises his head, caught in between a gasp and a sigh. 

The new priest is a small man, narrow and lean, with high cheekbones and curled up lips, a mop of wavy black hair longer than what many men would consider appropriate, but he is the priest, a messenger of God, so of course no one would question his looks. But that’s not what Minseok’s mind zeroes on, hair and cheeks and lips matter not when he notices himself being stared at. 

The more frightening thing about the new priest are his eyes, a coalescence of molten heat and quiet storms, angled upwards just enough to mimic the shape of a cat’s eyes. They feel hollow, haunting, boring holes deep inside your soul. Minseok is enthralled by his eyes, lost in the way they seem to have no pupils, only coal colored irises. So lost that he doesn’t even hear what the priest is saying to him, just feels two fingertips on his chin, forcing him to raise his head. 

“Are you listening, child?” the priest asks. Minseok blushes as he shakes his head. “Hmm,” Father Kim hums, tilting his head to one side and then to the other, the upturned corners of his mouth lifting into a smirk, eyes slightly narrowed. “What has made you lose yourself, child?”

“You,” Minseok answers, ashamed but too tainted by those black eyes to lie. 

“I see,” Father Kim smiles, stepping back and patting Minseok’s shoulder with one open palm. “You need to pray, Minseok. The Lord needs to hear you asking for forgiveness.” The priest pushes Minseok by the shoulders, his body reacting on cue, knees bending until they touch the wooden floor. “Pray, Minseok,” the man in the cassock commands, his thumb tracing Minseok’s bottom lip, “pray,” he whispers. 

Minseok is about to open his mouth when the man steps back, walking to the altar and kneeling on his own. And then the priest starts the Hail Mary and looks over his shoulder, eyebrow quipped up and Minseok picks up where he left it, mouth repeating words he is so familiar with. But he is not praying, he is too distracted for his simple repetition to be considered a prayer. He is watching the priest, lost in the smile the man gives him when they end the prayer. 

“We will speak again soon,” Father Kim tells him as he walks him out of the church, “for now, be at peace.”

Minseok walks back to his home in a haze, present in the time but lost in the space, mind running back to the way Father Kim’s finger felt over his lips, to that delicious weight that made him want so much more than just that. 

He is a sinner and for that he prays that night, asks forgiveness even though he feels no sort of remorse, sleeps and dreams of a man with dark eyes looming over his body. 

  
  
Minseok doesn’t wander anywhere near church the following days, too busy working in the farm and selling its produce to his neighbours, making sure his mother is comfortable and well fed throughout the day. On Sunday, his mother wakes up coughing blood, so neither of them move from the house. He considers calling the doctor, but his mother tells him the only cure is prayer, so he brings her the old bible with the yellow pages and repeats with her the words he knows by heart.

But even if he doesn’t visit the church, the image of his first encounter with the priest doesn’t leave him. Whenever he has a moment to himself, in the quiet of the afternoon, sitting in the back door of his small wooden house, looking at the fields ahead as the sun sets, his mind returns to the man with the curled up lips and the black eyes. 

And seeing him around the town, out of the corner of his eye as a flash of black in the market, feels like being hunted. The man is there for a moment, a distinctive baritone casting shadows over his mind, but gone when Minseok turns around.

When he is alone, sitting in his bed watching the rosary and the bible sit covered in his bedside table, he doesn’t dare to close his eyes. It feels horrible to sleep and to dream, for all he sees is the man staring at him from above, all he senses are his words brushing his skin, his fingertips pressed against his lips. 

How can one man be so magnetic, so enchanting and seductive? How can a servant of the Lord create so much temptation for a hesitant believer like Minseok? 

It takes two weeks for Minseok to see the priest again. 

Soonkyu’s father invites Minseok and his mother for dinner, but after Minseok’s hesitation and protest, the man decides to go to the boy’s house instead. So the night is falling when the Lees arrive at the small home, a basket of bread, cheese and wine to accompany the food. 

The smiling girl is singing an old church hymn as she peels the potatoes, Minseok’s mother clapping from where she sits by the table. Minseok sometimes forgets just how charming Soonkyu is, how easy it is for people to like her, to love her (once upon a time he liked her too, he sometimes forgets that too). Nevertheless, he chooses to forget one thing, and that is how much his mother would love for Minseok to put babies in Soonkyu’s lithe figure. 

Someone knocks the door, Minseok frowns as Mr Lee volunteers to open it. 

“Oh, Father Kim!” the man exclaims, joyfully. 

Minseok’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach, frozen where he stands, wine bottle in one hand and plates in the other. The priest is wearing the proper habit of the men of the church, but his cassock’s top buttons are open, exposing a button up black shirt and a small chain with a golden pendant in the shape of a cross. 

“Good evening, may God be with you,” the man’s melodic voice says as he steps inside. Minseok wants to hide or kneel or maybe both. 

“And with you, Father,” Soonkyu says with a big smile, approaching the man who in turn draws the cross in the air above her head with his right hand. 

"We didn’t expect to see you today, Father,” Minseok’s mother says, but she sounds happy instead of bothered, like Minseok is. 

“Mr Lee invited me, said you had matters to speak with me.” He turns to Minseok then, his smile never reaching those intense black eyes. Minseok bows his head in greeting and offers to serve wine. 

Being alone in a room with the priest was like being under a heavy weight, constantly pushed to do and act like he was requested to do. Being with him around people he has known for as long as he has lived is like being trapped in a cat and mouse game, doomed to lose if he looks the cat in the eyes. 

“So as you’d see, Father,” Mr Lee says, mouth momentarily busy with a piece of bread ”I believe my poor little Soonkyu’s white dress will get yellow before this boy finally does true to his promise.”

The priest muses for a second, alternatingly looking at Soonkyu, who tucks her chin like the good obedient christian girl she is, and Minseok, who can’t even bring himself to ignore the way the priest’s fingers look with his chunky golden rings, index and thumb brushing his chin methodically. 

“I find this is a predicament that has an easy short-term solution, Mr Lee” the man finally says, raising his eyebrows. “Dearest Soonkyu, do you wish to sin?” 

The girl blushes, shaking her head from side to side repeatedly. “No Father, I am repentant of my sins.”

“I see, I see, so you wish not to share carnal pleasure with your betrothed?” 

Soonkyu, under the pressure of four pairs of eyes, mutters a soft no. 

“Louder, child,” Father Jongdae says, smiling gently “God wants to hear you clearly.”

“No, I do not want to do such a thing, Father.” she assures, head moving from side to side adamantly. 

“Good, good, God loves the pure of heart” Jongdae says, smiling as he nods. Then the man turns, “Minseok,” his name sounds like a song coming from those perfect lips, “do you wish to sin?”

Soonkyu looks away, her father and Minseok’s mother are looking at him intently, yet Minseok only pays attention to the deep dark eyes that the priest holds, to the way they narrow as he leans forward. Minseok feels a knot tying around his throat, a hanging rope ready to suffocate him. He musters enough self-control to shake his head weakly. 

“You do not wish to sin carnally?” the priest asks, tilting his head. 

“No, I do not wish to sin carnally... with Soonkyu,” Minseok answers. The spark in those fiery dark eyes can’t be a product of his imagination, neither the way his smile grows as he leans back in his chair. 

“Well, I find it hard to force a man to marry a woman as his wife if neither had repeated the pitiful sin of carnal pleasure,” the priest says with a shrug, but raises his hand when the miller is about to protest. There is something intrinsically powerful about him, about how the smallest of gestures quiets a storm like Mr Lee. “Dearest Soonkyu, Minseok,” he says, voice softer than the flutter of a butterfly’s wings. “If you wish, I will marry you, but no earlier than the following autumn, after the harvest has ended. I want to know the town, the people, and you both before daring to celebrate a wedding”

That’s a year away, Minseok thinks, suffocating a smile. A year is more than enough time than what he hoped he could have. Given this marvelous gift of more time, Minseok nods when Soonkyu stares at him expectantly. 

Maybe in a year Soonkyu could fall for someone else, maybe she would be more than willing to let go of him. Or maybe they will still be tied to a forceful wedding after the harvest, but that is a year away, Minseok thinks he can stretch it a little bit more when the moment comes. 

The parents at the table smile and celebrate, the priest smiles when Minseok’s eyes meet his. Minseok swallows hard. 

“Still, Minseok, I would like to speak to you in private,” the priest says with a nod. “A man needs to be close to God in order to be a good husband for a woman that follows the word of the Lord.”

“My Soonkyu is a most reverent child of God,” Mr Lee assures, holding his daughter’s hand tightly, “she deserves a good man.”

“Minseok is a good man, father,” Soonkyu smiles as she looks at Minseok, who avoids her eyes, only for them to fall in the holy man once more. 

“I’m sure he is, but all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, even the saints," the priest stands up, turning to Minseok’s mother with a bright smile, “Thank you, Mrs Kim, for opening your house to me. May God bless you with health and prosperity.” The woman smiles as she does the sign of the cross alongside the priest. “I’ll wait for you in the chapel early morning tomorrow, Minseok.”

“Of course, Father, I’ll be there.”

Father Kim’s smile is dangerously akin to a blade as he walks out of the door, leaving Minseok with a strange emptiness inside his chest. 

  
  
The pinkish hues of dawn still linger in the vast sky by the time Minseok arrives at the entrance of the church. He stops dead in his tracks, eyes fixated in the wooden door’s silver handle. His hand wraps around it, feeling the cold metal against his warm fingers, hesitating for a moment that feels like an eternity. Minseok inhales, sighing his exhalation before opening the gate to a heaven that sometimes feels as suffocating as hell. 

“Good morning, Minseok,” the priest says, sitting in the pews with a bible at hand. He throws a glance over his elegant shoulder, perhaps making sure he addresses the correct person, before Minseok closes the door and walks towards him. “Kneel,” the man instructs and Minseok hastens to obey.

“Have you been praying, child?” the priest asks, closing the bible and putting it on the side. 

Minseok shakes his head no. 

“Hmm, how so?” Jongdae turns to see him, his intense dark eyes boring into Minseok’s very own rotten soul. “What has distracted you from the Lord?”

His answer is the same as the first time the priest asked him something. 

“You,” Minseok says, turning his head just enough to gaze at the beautiful man in clerical clothing, unholy molten eyes and sinful lips. 

Father Kim smiles.

He walks away from his line of vision, Minseok kneeling like he was instructed to do. He hears the noise of the door and when he turns to see over his shoulder, the priest has latched the front door and walks around the small church, closing the curtains one by one. When he comes back to Minseok’s side, the priest is smiling. His right hand threads through Minseok’s hair, nails scraping his scalp so deliciously that he can’t help but lean against his palm. 

“You have been a bad boy,” Jongdae whispers, voice two octaves lower than before, “not praying, not repenting.” The priest caresses Minseok’s head softly now, threading his fingers in and out of his thick black hair. “God is listening to you, Minseok, tell him what you want.”

“I want you,” Minseok says, raising his eyes from the nothingness ahead to the magnetic man standing in front of him. 

Jongdae hums, “How do you want me, child?”

“However you’d want to have me,” he could hit him and Minseok would say thank you and walk away treating his bruises like he would treat a battle scar, as if it was an honorable thing to bear in your skin. 

Jongdae’s smile is wry and toothy, his eyes narrowed as he grabs Minseok’s hair and tugs, harshly, forcing his head back. 

“However I want you?” he asks, taking his left hand to Minseok’s throat, nail raking up and down his skin, a delicious scrape that makes Minseok close his eyes and bite his lower lip, “What if I didn’t want you?” 

“You don’t want me?” Minseok’s eyes fly open and the priest laughs, leaning forward as his hand wraps around the throat it was previously caressing.

“Of course I do, who wouldn’t want you? You are gorgeous,” and his hand undoes the buttons of Minseok’s shirt, sliding over the now exposed skin of his chest, resting over his pecs for a second. Minseok hisses in pain when the man pinches his nipple, twisting it harshly before moving to the other and repeating the action. His right hand tugs his hair and the pain crosses with the pleasure as his mouth spills a wanton moan.

Jongdae’s torture ends as suddenly as it started. When Minseok opens his eyes, sweating and beyond wanting, he sees the priest leaning down, face a finger’s breadth away from Minseok’s. He then grabs Minseok’s face by his jaw, his fingers digging hard into his skin, and kisses him. 

It’s filthy and tongue heavy, Jongdae not leaving a second for Minseok to adjust. He just takes and takes, suffocating the younger man with lips that taste like sugar coated poison. Minseok breathes when he is allowed, when the priest releases his lips, only to latch them immediately to his neck, holding him by the collar of his shirt as he traces circles with the tip of his tongue. Minseok moans, Jongdae silences him with two fingers. 

“Shh,” he whispers. Minseok is far too gone to think of other than opening his lips and lapping the pads of the priest’s fingers with the tip of his tongue. “What a filthy boy,” Jongdae mutters and his fingers push past Minseok’s lips, moving in and out with an obscene squelching noise. 

“Want you,” the man on his knees says, burning pain inside his throat, aching groin desperate for a touch. 

The priest straightens up, leaving Minseok whiny and untouched. But he feels his mouth pooling as the priest pulls his cassock open and tugs down his pants. 

“Then you can have me,” Jongdae says, grabbing the younger man’s face with a cruelly harsh hand, “Open up, child.”

Minseok opens up and the pain of his lips stretching forcefully mixes with the pleasure of the taste of flesh over his needy tongue. He has never had a cock inside his mouth before, but once upon a lifetime, in the trenches of a war that happened in hues of black and white, Minseok had another soldier in between his legs and all he can remember is that hollowing your cheeks and grazing your teeth over the veins feels like paradise. 

Jongdae’s boot brushes against Minseok’s crotch and his moan makes the priest shiver. Desperate and impossibly hard, Minseok ruts against the man’s leg like an animal in heat. _Hurry up, hurry up,_ his mind screams, head bobbing on the priest’s deliciously thick dick, his own clothed dick chasing its own relief.

The priest grabs Minseok’s head by the hair, pushing him down his cock until he comes, spilling down his throat with a silent groan. Minseok sputters as he is released, leaning back against the bench. 

“Stay still,” Jongdae says, leaning down and putting a hand inside Minseok’s pants. It doesn’t take more than a few tugs for him to come, biting back an agonizing cry against the shoulder of the sinful priest. 

“You have been so good for me,” the priest tells him afterwards, cleaning his sweaty face, getting rid of the droplets of cum that escaped his lips, “so good, Minseok, you deserve heaven just for that mouth of yours.” The man presses a kiss to the tip of Minseok’s nose, sweet and charming for a man who just fucked his throat without any sort of mercy, “Can I have you again, Minseok?” 

“Yes,” he answers, without any sort of thought. He wants, he wants so much more. He wants to bend over the altar, to watch the cross as the priest pounds into his hole. He wants to be taken like a whore in a brothel, to be used until he can’t stand on his own two feet. 

He arrives at his doorstep nearing lunch time, the sun high in the sky in spite of the dark sin he just submitted to. Minseok peels the potatoes one by one, promising his mother a warm stew, and thinks idly that if Soonkyu is to marry him, she will never know fidelity as long as Father Kim conducts the services in the town’s chapel. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I blame monster era for this atrocity <3  
> comments and kudos are always appreciated :D


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